Telemarketer Part I

Man : Hi, I am so-and-so from so-and-so. We want to reward you for being a loyal customer throughout the years.
Me : Thank you.
Man : Just for you, we are offering you this phone model xxx at a special rate of $xxx!
Me : Do I have to sign a plan?
Man : Oh yes, you will need to sign a 2 year plan for this offer.
Me : You people want to reward me by asking me to spend extra money on a new phone that I don't need, and not only that, get me signed a 2 year plan with you people? Thanks, but no thanks.
[pauses]
Man : But this phone model xxx has so-and-so, with the latest so-and-so.
Me : I am perfectly happy with my present phone.
Man : May I ask which phone model you using?
Me : SE T68i
[could almost hear his delight through the phone]
Man : Ah ha! Your phone does not have a camera, but this new phone model has a camera with so-and-so.
Me : I don't need a new phone with a camera. I have no use for that. If I want to take a picture, I will use an actual camera, not a phone. Besides, you can't bring a handphone with camera for reservists.
[pauses again]
Man : In that case, how about another phone model, so-and-so. It has so-and-so, but it does not have a camera.
Me : Listen, I don't need another new phone. Everything I ever wanted in a phone and don't want in a phone is in the phone I am currently using. I have no wish to pay extra money to upgrade to another new phone when my present one is working. And I have no wish to sign any contract with you guys so if your service ever screws up, I can easily change to another company.
[pauses again]
Man : Oh, well thank you very much bah bah bah...

The above took place recently, and though I may not remember word for word, that was roughly what was said. I received a SMS a few minutes after the call ended, asking me to rate the call just now. I replied with the best score. I may a bastard, but I am not THAT bastard. Yet.

I am a telemarketer nightmare. If you want to waste my time by calling me, I will make sure I will derive the most sadistic pleasure by abusing you.